This Balance Owing email should be used on the odd occasion when your company has paid a bill but the other company is still reporting it as unpaid!
There can be a lot of reasons for this and this template should get people looking for an answer. It should also garner a few "yuks" along the way.
A sense of humor goes a long way to lightening up a serious situation.
Here is a free business email with a sense of humor.
Use it if your company has a sense of humor and you suspect that the other company may like a little light humor as well.
(Be careful though. Many people in business take it very seriously and may not appreciate your sense of humor. I've actually had people tell me that, "business is serious" and they don't want to take it lightly! The biggest sale I ever made however was to a major glass company and the presentation was based on a cartoon character calendar! Sometimes humor works very well.)
On / / we received your letter which indicated that:
[ ]we had a balance owing in the amount of $_______________ [ ]you missed last week's Star Trek rerun, [ ]your mood ring hasn't changed color for a year. [ ]there is a small hole in the ozone layer directly over your company. [ ]you don't like liver and onions. [ ]you enjoy wearing "bunny" slippers.
On / / we mailed a check/cheque to you in the amount of $________________. You should have [ ]checked into a motel immediately. [ ]rushed out and bought new support hose. [ ]eaten your Lima beans when you were young. [ ]scraped the fungi from the bottom of your fridge. [ ]received the check/cheque by now. [ ]declared a holiday at once.
We are now somewhat concerned.
If you have not received our check/cheque by the time this letter arrives [ ]too bad! [ ]we would appreciate hearing from you inasmuch as we should issue a stop payment on the funds. [ ]that doesn't mean we don't love you. [ ]get a life Sparkey! [ ]the check/cheque-eating virus is spreading! [ ]sue us! We will hold this matter in abeyance until we hear from you.
(These directions are for Outlook Express users but will generally be the same for all email programs.)
Open your email program and click on the "Create Mail" button.
Return to this Balance Owing page and highlight the verse above.
Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".
Return to your email program and in the box below the subject line; click once to get the cursor in the box and then right-click on the mouse and click "paste" and the text (from above) will be transferred into the body of your email.
Fill in the blanks (company name, date, amount, etc.)
Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.
Add your name and/or your company name at the end.
You may then want to enter a word or two in the "Subject" line. (What's the email about?)
Finally, you must enter the person's email address and click send. (Hopefully, you can just select their email address from your address book.)
To return to the Funny Business Email main page where you can easily access other funny business email templates, click above.