Send this Late Refund email out to a customer who has complained that you have been late sending out a refund to them.
Occasionally, someone will return one of your products or just simply take you up on your "free trial period" and will want their money back.
If it has taken your company a while to address this refund, then this funny free business email should help smooth over any bad feelings the client may have.
(That is if they have any sense of humor at all!)
"The cheque/check is in the mail" is a well know sentence, so tell them that. Then send them this "yuk" - and then send the money!
After reading your letter of ______________, I can thoroughly understand why [ ]you've run out of patience [ ]your dog has fleas [ ]you hate calamari [ ]bathing sucks [ ]bluegrass rules.
While it would be easy to place the blame on [ ]an E.coli outbreak [ ]a shark attack [ ]middle America [ ]a voodoo doll [ ]our computer [ ]tobacco companies,
the truth is that [ ]we just don't care [ ]we messed up [ ]Ex-president Bush works here part time [ ]sushi can't be cooked [ ]we're dain bramaged [ ]old accountants never die, they just lose their balance [ ]we refer to fifth grade as "your senior year"!
Therefore, please accept our apology for [ ]driving through your fence [ ]the fire [ ]the delay in refunding your money [ ]suggesting that we use the "Judge Judy Show" to resolve the problem [ ]hiring someone named "Bubba" in the Accounts Payable department [ ]sending The National Enquirer to your door.
Our crack bookkeeping department has been ordered to [ ]pay you at once [ ]see a psychiatrist [ ]look for Elvis at the mall [ ]learn karate [ ]stop sniveling [ ]get drunk and be somebody else [ ]pretend their toaster is a bath toy [ ]up their medication.
Thank you for [ ]not molting [ ]the proctology report [ ]not sending Guido after us [ ]bringing this issue to our attention [ ]explaining the "Big Bang Theory" [ ]the horse's head [ ]being patient [ ]washing your socks [ ]cutting back on chocolate.
We're sorry for [ ]the rash [ ]the ring around your tub [ ]the mold in your refrigerator [ ]your headaches [ ]any inconvenience this has caused you.
(These directions are for Outlook Express users but will generally be the same for all email programs.)
Open your email program and click on the "Create Mail" button.
Return to this Late Refund page and highlight the verse above.
Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".
Return to your email program and in the box below the subject line; click once to get the cursor in the box and then right-click on the mouse and click "paste" and the text (from above) will be transferred into the body of your email.
Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.
Add your name at the end.
If you are sending this Late Refund email to an individual, then you will also want to type his/her name at the top.
You may then want to enter a word or two in the "Subject" line. (What's the email about?)
Finally, you must enter the person's email address and click send. (Hopefully, you can just select their email address from your address book.)
Click above to return to the Free Business Email page for other possible funny email templates.