Thanksgiving Card

If you are going to send a Thanksgiving card to your friends, why not send it as a funny email message?

There is a serious message in the verse but it can also be lighthearted, depending on which words or phrases you choose.
Remember that you can send this verse as an e-card or you can print it out as well and send it by snail mail.
Try it for a change.

Before you get to the Thanksgiving verse below, here are a few Turkey Riddles for you. (They're more like Groaners, but I don't have any more room on my Groaners page anyway.) These are followed by some "You Might Be A Redneck" Thanksgiving lines. I hope you get a chuckle out of them anyway.

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!

What do you get when you cross a turkey, the beach, and Broomhilda? A turkey sand-witch!

What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, hubble, hubble!

(OK, they're bad. Maybe I should have put them on my Groaners page instead?)

What about these?

At Thanksgiving - You Might Be A Redneck If...

You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a ping-pong table.
Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
You've ever re-used a paper plate.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
Your stuffing's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge'.

OK, enough frivolity, here's the verse for your Thanksgiving card or email.
Happy Thanksgiving.


You may not be [ ]sterile [ ]a movie star [ ]rich [ ]at our table [ ]house broken [ ]in touch with reality [ ]sane [ ]clean [ ]itchy

but you're [ ]cute [ ]in our hearts [ ]trainable [ ]tepid [ ]hot [ ]irrational [ ]platypus-like [ ]imaginative [ ]stoic.

We are thankful for [ ]microwaves [ ]Oprah [ ]jeans [ ]weekends [ ]rum [ ]old friends [ ]young friends [ ]air [ ]Glade Plugins [ ]your rehab [ ]aliases [ ]nature's bounty

and wish you [ ]a wonderful Thanksgiving [ ]would stop calling [ ]were better behaved [ ]good luck with the new hair transplant [ ]would stop talking about the weather [ ]hadn't neutered the cat [ ]hadn't stopped sending my reality checks!


How to Transfer The Verse From This Template Into Your Thanksgiving Card

Thanksgiving Card?

(These directions are for PC users but will generally be the same for all types of computers and programs.)

Find a card that appeals to you visually on one of the many sites that offer greeting cards on the Internet. (Some suggested sites are listed below.)

  • Make sure you can edit words in the card. (Don't pick an "animated" one. They usually can't be altered.)
  • Delete the verse from the card and then return to this page and highlight the verse (above).
  • Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".
  • Return to the card and place the cursor where you want the verse to appear and click "paste". The text (from above) will then be transferred into your Thanksgiving card.
  • Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.
  • Add your name.
  • Then send it or print it off.

Word Card

Click above to see how to make your own Word card from your printer.

Greeting Cards

Go to the Greeting Cards page for other types of cards that you might want to use at some point.

Greeting Card Sites

Try some of these sites if you don't already have a card picked out to put your verse on.

- Return To Home Page

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