Retirement Email

Why send a retirement email? Is somebody retiring at work? Maybe it's time to send them a funny note?

Retirement is pretty well always a joyous occasion (unless, of course, the person is being forced to retire early). Therefore, you probably want to send them something light that they can chuckle at.

Funny things to email are sometimes hard to find and you can look through a lot of messages before finding one that is "right" for your situation.

That's why I designed this funny retirement email. You can add your own touch to it based on the sense of humor of the retiree.

I also have a funny retirement email card template for you in the Greeting Card section. If you want to send an e-card to the person instead of an e-mail (then click here).

(Of course, you can always print the message on a real card and hand it to the person if you want!)


Congratulations on your [ ]release [ ]escape [ ]nomination for patient of the year [ ]graduation from obedience school [ ]recent retirement [ ]third place finish in the "Ugly Shoes" contest [ ]unsuccessful appearance on the "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader" program [ ]"cow flap" throwing victory [ ]nuclear fusion patent.

May you look back with [ ]regret [ ]pride [ ]anger [ ]confusion [ ]embarrassment [ ]melancholy [ ]detachment [ ]sorrow [ ]fear [ ]joy [ ]amazement [ ]trepidation

on your [ ]lack of empathy [ ]misdeeds [ ]corny jokes [ ]tolerance for bad coffee [ ]ability to blend in [ ]successful brain transplant [ ]confrontational attitude [ ]ability to organize piles of paper into a system [ ]accomplishments.

I'm sure you're looking forward to [ ]doing nothing [ ]doing more with less [ ]giving your old boss a "1 finger wave" [ ]sleeping in [ ]the daytime "soaps" on TV [ ]cheaper insurance rates [ ]2 weeks in Sheboygan [ ]hanging out at the mall

and for the co-workers you left behind I'll bet you'd like to pass on to them [ ]good luck [ ]the plague [ ]a visit from the brain fairy [ ]a big "raspberry" [ ]a flea infestation [ ]your "Dueling Bagpipes" album [ ]condolences.


How To Transfer This Template Into Your Email Program

(These directions are for Outlook Express users but will generally be the same for all email programs.)

Open your email program and click on the "Create Mail" button.

Return to this Retirement Email page and highlight the verse above.

Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".

Return to your email program and in the box below the subject line; click once to get the cursor in the box and then right-click on the mouse and click "paste" and the text (from above) will be transferred into the body of your email.

Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.

Add your name at the end.

If you are sending this email to an individual, then you will also want to type his/her name at the top.

You may then want to enter a word or two in the "Subject" line. (What's the email about?)

Finally, you must enter your friend's email address and click send. (Hopefully, you can just select their email address from your address book.)

Are you retired or close to it? Would you like to earn extra money from your own website when you are retired (just like I do)? If that appeals to you then check out the best company on the Internet to help you do it by clicking here. It's the one I use. (Or, you can watch the video below.)

Retirement Card

Ready To Retire?

Go to my Funny Retirement Email Card template if you'd sooner send a card than this email.


Here's a good site. Click here to learn more about the process of retirement and hear from real retirees on their thoughts of all things retirement. (Don't forget to bookmark this page before you leave however.)

Go From This Retirement Email Page To Funny Email Messages

See other Funny Email Messages that you can send.

Greeting Cards

The Greeting Cards section contains templates for many different cards for most of life's important occasions.

Funny Business Email

Get a serious message across in a humorous way. If your company has a good sense of humor, you may be able to use some of my Funny Business Email templates in your correspondence.

- Return To Home Page

Please note that the "What's New?" section below is updated whenever something I think is funny comes along, therefore some of these "New" blogs further down the page may already have been replaced by the time you click on them!

What's New?

  1. Amazing New BMW Motorcycle

    Oct 19, 16 12:00 AM

    You'll get noticed riding around on this concept bike. Will they manufacture it?

    Read More

  2. Cruel Hospital!

    Oct 15, 16 12:00 AM

    Funny picture of a hospital joke (I hope).

    Read More

  3. Funny Book Authors

    Oct 15, 16 12:00 AM

    These were added to the top of my "Groaners" page.

    Read More

  4. Single!

    Oct 05, 16 12:00 AM

    Here's a comeback for you if you're single.

    Read More

  5. Intriguing Bicycle Lights

    Sep 21, 16 12:00 AM

    If you ever ride your bicycle at night, these will get attention!

    Read More

Before You Go...

Check out the page above. You might have missed something!

Thank You

Many of the photos on this site came from and