Every once in a while, I get sent an email joke which I consider the best email I've seen recently and so I post it on this page. It will be the best usually because it will be the funniest one according to me!
How come I get to decide? Because I own the website! (Ahh, the perks of being a "Head Poobah"!)
However, if you disagree, you can tell me through the form below or you can submit your own joke for consideration!
Then you can watch people comment on it!
By the way, I don't mean that you have to make up your own joke. If someone sends you one that you think is funny, then pass it along. Everybody has a different sense of humor, so it's hard to know what's going to go over well or not, but let me decide that. Send it in anyway!
This is an interactive site so get participating. That way, it will get better. I can't possibly read all the good jokes that are circulating on the Internet. I do try but even with a bunch of my friends helping me out, it's impossible. That's why I need your suggestions for best email as well.
Here's a little philosophy for you. I judge something to be funny if I have an instant positive response to something I see or read. Usually it takes the form of a smile, but occasionally it is an actual laugh. Generally, for me, that comes from something that somebody has put a little thought into, not just a "site gag".
Without sounding snobbish (I hope) that means that if somebody's clever in some way with their joke, then I'm more likely to think that it is funny. I hope that's kind of your criteria as well. If it is, you'll likely get your joke posted on this Best Email page.
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from having to (a) suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance!
DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will 'remove' all the germs.
ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear view mirror.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
Received from FranCMT2.
Is the best email joke of the week funny or not? Send us your thoughts or send your own funny email joke as a candidate for the next version.
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