Funny Signs & Headlines
(from Karen Morgan)

Over the years I've collected many "one-liner" jokes like the funny signs and newspaper headlines that appear on this page. 

When Karen sent me a collection that she had come across, I decided to put them all in one place. As I discover more of them, I'll just add them to this page. 

I think I'll break the page up into the 2 categories for now. (Eventually, the page may become 2 pages, depending on how many other signs and newspaper headlines I come across.)

Anyway, here are the "yuks" to start this Funny Signs page. 


Funny Signs
(Did I Read That Sign Right?)

Funny Signs

In an office building:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...

Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so.)

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)


Funny Headlines

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

(They corrected this the next day!)

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Ya' think?

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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

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Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works better than a fair trial!

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War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya' think?

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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

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London Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?

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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

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And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?


Fun Jokes

Click above to return to Fun Jokes and lots more different fun things to make you smile.


- Return To Home Page


Please note that the "What's New?" section below is updated whenever something I think is funny comes along, therefore some of these "New" blogs further down the page may already have been replaced by the time you click on them!

What's New?

  1. Little GTO

    Jan 17, 18 12:00 AM

    Here's a car song from the '60's to sing along to - originally done by Ronnie And The Daytonas.

    Read More

  2. Latest Singalong - The Ballad Of John And Yoko

    Dec 18, 17 12:00 AM

    Sing along to this protest song of the '60's.

    Read More

  3. New "Quick Joke"

    Nov 30, 17 12:00 AM

    Got a second? Go vote on the joke on my home page - funny or not. I have a feeling that if you're old, you'll like it!

    Read More

  4. Bitcoin Buying

    Nov 29, 17 12:00 AM

    Are you buying or thinking of buying Bitcoins to get in on the frenzy? Check out my entry into the field.

    Read More

  5. Margaritaville Sing Along Song

    Nov 14, 17 12:00 AM

    Sing with me on this Jimmy Buffett song (probably his most famous).

    Read More

Before You Go...

Check out the page above. You might have missed something!


Thank You

Many of the photos on this site came from http://freedigitalphotos.net and http://PhotoFunia.com