Mothers Day Card

Use this verse in a Mothers Day Card if your mother has a sense of humor. (Of course you need to have one too!)

You can print this verse onto one of the many templates that are available on the web these days. Many of them are free and you may find one on my "Greeting Card Sites" page (listed below).

Or, as is happening more and more these days, you can just send an electronic version of the card because your mom is now "Internet savvy". I hope you both like it.

PS
There is also a Mothers Day email that you can send in my Funny Email Messages section. Click here to check it out.


Thank you mom for [ ]visiting me in jail [ ]testifying against me [ ]all your help [ ]having me committed [ ]committing yourself [ ]memorizing The Cat In The Hat [ ]being you [ ]joining the Celine Dion Fan Club.

I know I'm [ ]receiving signals from Mars [ ]safer under the bed [ ]lucky to have you [ ]wearing socks with sandals [ ]on parole [ ]your favorite child [ ]depressed [ ]giddy [ ]itchy [ ]one tick short of a tock,

But I [ ]love you a lot [ ]like a full ashtray [ ]miss our discussions about dirt [ ]need to report in [ ]need to wash my socks [ ]crave boiled spinach [ ]am joining the circus [ ]will soon be out of quarantine.

Have a great day!


How to Transfer The Verse From This Mothers Day Card Template Into Your Greeting Card

(These directions are for PC users but will generally be the same for all types of computers and programs.)

Find a card that appeals to you visually on one of the many sites that offer greeting cards on the Internet. (Some suggested sites are listed below.)

Just make sure you can edit words in whichever type of card you pick - e-card or paper. (Don't pick an "animated" one. They usually can't be altered.)

Delete the verse from the card and then return to this page and highlight the verse (above).

Right-click on the highlighted text and click "copy".

Return to the card and place the cursor where you want the verse to appear and click "paste". The text (from above) will then be transferred into your Mothers Day Card.

Put a CAPITAL "X" in the brackets beside the words or phrases you want to use in your message.

Add your name.

Then send it or print it off.


Mothers Day

To send a Mother's Day email instead of a Mothers Day card, then click above.


This Isn't Funny!

Send A Mother's Day Card

This isn't funny but it is worth reading and passing along to any mothers you know:

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay, honey, Mommy's here."

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purses.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars.

And that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and meant it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college or have their own families.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shootings.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their children who just came home from school safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?

Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation... And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us...

Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray and never stop being a mom.

Please pass along to all the moms in your life.

"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."

Please pass this to a wonderful mother you know.

(Received from FranCMT2)


Word Card

See how to make your own Mothers Day card from your printer.

Greeting Cards

Return to the Greeting Cards main page where you will find many other cards that you may want to send some day.

Card Sites

Here are some Internet sites that provide cards (often free) that you may want to use. (Make sure that they are blank or editable and don't forget to come back here for your funny verse.)


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Please note that the "What's New?" section below is updated whenever something I think is funny comes along, therefore some of these "New" blogs further down the page may already have been replaced by the time you click on them!

What's New?

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    This was a big hit for Chris Montez. Join me and my 12-string guitar for your own version.

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    Join me and my 12-string guitar on this Steve Miller classic. (It's the top song.)

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  4. Another "Oldie" Singalong - "I Like It Like That"

    Oct 31, 19 12:00 AM

    Here's a "One-Hit-Wonder" from the '60's - originally done by Chris Kenner. Join me on my 12-string because the lyrics are included.

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  5. Let The Little Girl Dance - A Singalong Song

    Oct 16, 19 12:00 AM

    I'm sure this was inspired by the gymnasium "sock hops" from the '50's and '60's.

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